Everybody Must Get Honed

This here edgy-cated whoa-man who rights this here post is feelin’ like she fell back into the Wild West these crazy daze. Wanna have a gun? Jest git yerself off to the land of South Dakota where they’s a trin’ to push a mandatory “every body’s gotta get guns” kinda law into their land. Yee haw – once agin. Git yer saddle out an’ lets jus’ have our day in the fun. Bang-Bang. Hope the grand masses of South Dakota (population: nary a few) shoot it down - now. We don’t need no more gratuitous violence in the streets - and how!

Truth is, the folks who are buying’ the guns of late are often those whom defy the stereotypical  “Redneck” label and are able to speak without a vocabulary disability. (Whoops. I was un-PC. My bad.) Ask Ashton Kutcher, who is, according to his own words *, compiling a fine gun collection to protect his family from impending irrational chaos on these here shores of the US of A. To be incredibly honest, I understand this form of paranoia. Humans, like many of their animal counterparts, are a tad unpredictable…and yet, extremely predictable: see All Wars/Territorial Bloodshed/Random Chaos, etc.

The desire for guns in America is rising as much as the country’s debt ratio. Part of the concern of the seemingly sane and urbane, is an impending Armageddon. Granted, regardless of one’s religious beliefs, all one has to do is pay attention to how the Universe enjoys supposed "random" surprises. HI! We’re gonna wreak some heavy-duty sheet on you guys, so hang on tight – if you might. 


There have always been rapid changes on the planet. So, again, it makes some kind of sense that people want to be prepared for the unknown with protection. I don't know if guns are the answer. Unsettling events can happen in an instant.

Imagine the sanguine mood of an Apatosaurus relishing the green delights of the leaves of a lovely tree top, and then, within what we assume to be nano-seconds, is/are tossed into a nether-land of chaotic misanthrope-ness. Talk about “now you see it and now you don’t” – OMG! Or, is it “Oh. My. Gawdy-Haughty-Naughty”?

Whatever, shame on you Mother Nature. For the residents of a grand majority of the US of A's landscape covered in up to 20 INCHES of snow, you really know how to kill a blissful buzz of a Winter Wonderland.

And for those who live in the often blizzard-like conditions of South Dakota, what will having a gun in every household achieve when the snow is as high as an elephant's eye? I think a shovel for every house should suffice, don't you?

Tsk......


* Courtesy of People Magazine 2010  - 
The 32-year old actor admits he is already stockpiling guns and spends hours running the trails in Runyon Canyon near his home in LA, using visions of being chased by wild boar as motivation. He also does an hour of intense Bikram yoga every day and is studying a€˜Krav Maga,a€™ a deadly combat technique used by the Israeli army. He even got some hands-on practice last Christmas; The power went out at the plush home he shares with Demi Moore in the Hollywood hills, and things got pretty wild; "€œIt was 20 below zero. I got my guns out. We made a fire... We went to the grocery store, and the doors were open because they a€™re all electronic. People were rolling in and out, clearing the shelves..."