Weekly-Eeeks

Another week. Another tweak in our collective consciousness. Hell did freeze over: Former Secretary of Defense/Offense/No-Repentance, Donald Rumsfeld, appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Wednesday night. Amazing.

Let’s pause for a moment: Rumsfeld is such a chump as to go on any program that will have him because: a) He has written a book and apparently needs the money. b) Has money, but wants all of the world to think of him as a stand-up kind of guy because all wagging fingers have been pointing to him for the debacle of the Iraq war and the decline of Western Civilization. c) Is crazy. d) Knows no shame. e) Is one of those guys who hires someone to beat the crap out of him. f) All of the above. g) Just so I could write about him.

Libya’s clearly unhinged/deranged Muammar al-Gaddafi continued to accuse that nation’s protesters of being under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs while his military maintains an aggressive, violent attack against them.  The drug accusation in this situation is the other way around, as any reasonably sane person can surmise if they watched/listened to Gaddafi’s one hour-long rambling speech the other day, as well as increasingly ludicrous behaviour during a telephone interview where he flitted from subject to subject, ultimately ending with a failed attempt to properly hang up his phone. Let’s not forget that for years the dictator has seemed more than a tad askew.

Have you ever glanced at a picture of him wearing those strange little hats with his bushy hair flopping out on both sides of his head? He resembles a middle-aged transsexual who forgot to put on her makeup to go shopping. At least that’s what his mirror tries to tell him, I betcha.

Wasn’t it a hoot to listen to the conversation Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker had with the faux David Koch this week? Talk about getting “punk’d”! One could almost hear Walker jiggling in his desk chair for the honor of talking with one of his largest benefactors. In fact, Walker kept on talking and talking – to his ultimate embarrassment when the prank-punk was revealed.

Similar to how a cat pretends not to have made a mistake by nonchalantly licking their paws and producing a “I didn’t knock over the vase – it just fell on its own” look, Governor Walker rushed out to the microphones to tell everyone he didn’t say anything that he hadn’t said in public…except considering the insertion of “troublemakers” into the thus-far peaceful protests – you know, little devious plans like that.

While Wisconsin continued to whirl in the collective bargaining quagmire, other states and their legislators found themselves defending their own anti-public employee bargaining stances. The best quote of the week was inspired by Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels’ remark that public employee unions were the “privileged elite.” In response, the ever clever Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report commented, "Those freeloaders with their cushy state jobs - like snow plow operators, prison guards, and teachers. Oh, they’re always driving around, lording their ’93 Nissan Sentras over everybody."

Jennifer Lopez gave American Idol viewers a true show when she crumbled into what appeared to be a pre-menstrual breakdown of saline-based waterworks when a contestant with a wheelchair-bound girlfriend was told he had to go home. Perhaps Jennifer just wanted to go home when she finally awoke to see what’s happened to her career?

“The Grey Carpet” post said all I care to write about dearest Lindsay Lohan’s court appearance, thus we’ll move on……

And then there’s Charlie-without-his-Sheen making bad news again in two quite angry interviews yesterday that finally caused CBS executives to cash in their chips on this season’s production of Two and a Half Men – which was a rather smart decision considering how the “Home Rehab” has gone not-so-well for the guy. Or maybe he has finally “come clean” in his private detox which might explain his rants. Withdrawal vitriol? Now what’s he going to do for an encore? Turn his home into a mini-Playboy Mansion? That’s an idea he has considered – albeit in a different home than his where he would stash his cash with a rainbow collection of porn stars and strippers. Meh, a Hugh Hefner he’ll never be. And to think Hef was once considered to be the ultimate King of Decadence.

That’s it for the moment. If I don’t publish this post now, I’ll never have an end to a partial rundown of the week’s low-lights as something new transpires almost every hour to cause shock, horror and nervous laughter.

Chow – for now.