The Week's Eews and OMG's

Another week has sped by. Is it me, or is it true that time is speeding-up? I swear I was just writing about last week's events a moment ago on a late Thursday evening to be published early Friday morning. No wonder I feel as if I've been in a plane for hours. I don't think I've left my desk for a week and have been traversing the globe at an astounding speed. I'm a bit desk-lagged.

So who and what were the world's high-and-low-lights worthy of a snark or three? It wouldn't be a very productive thing to flog about what's going on in Egypt right now. Protests, deaths, a city "dark" at night to attempt to curb the fights? Or did someone knock out the lights? It is safe to suggest that there is extreme unrest and let the story play out to its inevitable strained conclusion. *

Isn't it too easy to single out good ole' Mama Grizzly up in Alaska once again for opening her uninformed mouth regarding President Obama's State of the Union speech? Or to add to the chorus of WTF's over what on earth Michele Bachmann thought she was doing in her very own little plastic-wrapped befuddled bubble Tea Party Express uneducated, misinformed, lying SOTU rebuttal speech which CNN shamefully exploited only to find that Bachmann not only can't speak straight, she also can't see straight into the correct camera. Oh, to be kind, someone pointed her in the direction of one camera while the second camera must have been guided by one of North Korea's missile launchers. 'Nuff for now on that embarrassing example of education standards in America. If you don't know what she said, I guarantee you'll find it all over the interwebs. Remember, Google is your friend.

For those who are dealing with more snow in your part of the world than you can remember, my suggestion is that you make igloos in your spare time, burrow through man-made tunnels in your backyard or street, and pretend you're in Alaska. Perhaps you'll end up craving moose jerky, and through the haze of snowflakes, you'll finally understand why a certain someone thought she saw Russia from her porch when, in truth, it was only a faint outline of a snow-buried SUV.

For the more lascivious news of the week, our Bad Boy Charlie Sheen didn't let us down when he was "rushed" to an ER after spending 36 hours on a "bender" with 5 "porn stars" and having his own snowstorm. Hey, most of us would have passed out after the 2nd pro showed-up. That Charlie. Tsk. I really flog his nuts. $25,000 in one week on prostitutes? Hey buddy, everyone has known about your penchant for paid company for many years now. Are you going for the Guinness World Record or simply going to hell in your own hubris-based silver basket-case? I'd have more compassion for you if this hadn't been a long, long time coming. Get a grip. On something other than a female body part. If not, your show might just end up as One Half of A Man.

And, oh yes. The Academy Award nominations were announced Tuesday morning. Yawn. Colin Firth will win Best Actor for The King's Speech, and unless the voting Academy members decide to stick it to popular opinion expectations, Natalie Portman will do her Swan Song as Best Actress to much applause before she slips off to have her baby and falls into the dismal well of the Oscar Curse, almost never to be in a decent film again. Actually, she already has a head start at the moment in the critically panned film, No Strings Attached. Well done, Natalie. You already know what's ahead for you. Great timing on having a baby. That'll keep you and your nanny busy for a while. Let's hope you'll have better luck than Sandra Bullock's brief shine in the light last year. Hope your man friend isn't into tattoos.

There are other events and stories, of course. But, there are times when it's wise to simply follow the rule of "less is more." Unless you're Oprah Winfrey. OMG! OMG! Oprah has a half-sista! OMG! OMG! The sista kept her mouth shut for over 3 years knowing she was the Big O's half-sibling. Now, THAT is worthy of a true OMG!

And last.... Keith Olbermann withdrawal for many. Missed his Friday night James Thurber readings. Missed his punctilious air. An 8 year habit is hard to break. I may need to start an Olbermann Anonymous 12 Step Countdown program for the clinically distressed.


* http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/27/egypt-protests-live-updates_n_815154.html