Stop! In the Name of...ummm

Er, ummmmm. I'd like to, ummm, write an interesting post today, but, ummm, I'm not feeling very clear or secure about, ummm, my topic. Nevertheless, I'll forge ahead to, ummm, elucidate my point no matter, umm, how dofficult it may be to, uh, get to the point.

There is an enormous amount of, you know, uh, issues going on all around the, ummm, world. What to choose? Uh, I'm certain I can locate the focus to, uh, you know, get on to whatever my point was on, uh, the chosen issue. Do you have a hint thus far?

Public speakers of one sort or another, in my, uh-ummm, opinion, should communicate with authority and clarity, you know, like, ummm, not using "ummm" or "uh" or "you know" every other word. That's just my opinion, you know. Who cares that the "ummm's" and "uh's" blur the message?

Have any of you in the U.S. or elsewhere ever been able to, uh, get through a press briefing at the, uh, White House by Press Secretary Robert Gibbs-Me-Headache without cringing at least a half dozen times when he falls into his tourettes-syndrome of "umm's" whether he's answering a question or simply announcing? Ummm. Isn't his job to be a communicator for the president? Uh, well, uh, even Mr. Obama off-teleprompter falls into the "uh-umm's" - perhaps that's why Gibbs got the job. All they had to do was nod and "ummm" their way into agreement. Easy interview, don't you think?

Dare I bring up how often our esteemed Secretary of State, Hillary-Chillery-Tock Clinton, "uh's" her way through, uh, you know, most of her speeches as well? Ummmm. It's true. Check it out if you don't believe me. I'm sure there is footage somewhere around the interwebs, you know, uh, where you'll find many "umm's" to add to your hair loss as you find yourself pulling on the strands just to get through what appears to be a torturous moment of, uh, communication concerning, uh, you know, serious matters of state.

Is the tendency to fall back on the "uh's" and "ummm's" akin to a virus in the administration? Nope. It's happened with other seemingly brilliant political figures who must speak in public. Did you notice how Condo-lease-me Rice could barely go beyond three words before she, uh, could finish her, ummm, sentence? Yep. Then, of course, you know, George W. could barely use words at all, so his "umm's" were often a relief from the painful moments he'd squint at the cameras with the now classic "Who, me?" blank stare wondering where his next thought might come from?

Granted, when the spotlight of the world is placed in your face, one must be cautious with how one expresses what they are communicating lest it become another laughable or misconstrued soundbite. Choosing one's words carefully is important: however, I certainly don't know about you, but I find these verbal crutches to be extremely distracting.

Robert Gibbs, for example, seems to be a nice guy who can usually take the lashes of his job without having a nervous breakdown. I wanted to like him when he first lumbered into the White House press room looking all geeky and disarmingly sweet and out of place until the "uh" and "ummm's" began tumbling out of his mouth until I no longer cared what he had to say. One day, while waiting to hear what I had hoped would be an insightful answer to a pressing question of the moment, I decided to begin a count of the "uh's-umm's" - after less than five minutes I had to stop at 50.

Could it be that part of the reason why Caroline Kennedy withdrew her bid for Uncle Ted's Senate seat was due to her inability to utter one sentence without the proverbial, "you know." "Ummmm." "Uhhhh." You know?

Not everyone has to be careful with their words, or lack thereof. Nevertheless, I do expect politicians and public speakers to weigh their verbal crutches more carefully and to speak directly, correctly and respectfully with at least a modicum of gravitas.

Is that too much to ask?

I mean, uh, I'm really trying to make a point here and, ummm, I hope I've done so, you know?