Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A Tale of True Picky's

Part II: Lurid Lies

Have you ever been a bully or an anonymous responder on the internet? Have you reveled in the collapse of another's marriage or life? Have you dissected every inch of a person's physical flaws to such a point where it becomes an obsession? Have you wished death on a stranger? No, not the road rage momentary primal growl kind of death-wish, or the brief murderous feelings one may have during a particularly nasty fight with a SO or service rep. I'm writing about a studied and carefully designed desire to wish harm on those we simply do not like, do not know in real life, and have not done anything - personally - to you.

If you answered "Yes" to any of the above, then shame on you. (Finger wagging away.) You're only human, right? You aren't a saint, after all, and you can do what you want and say what you want and focus on what you want and write about what you want because you simply WANT TO and CAN behind your comfy little monitor screen. No one in your real life has to know how much you love to virtually scream at strangers, telling them that instead of having had their baby they should have aborted. Oh yes. That lovely sentiment was written to a decent poster on one of those low-down dirty little gossip sites. Why? "Why not?" that poster may have been feeling when they shot that remark out of their putrid inner cavern.

Hey, I'm for free speech. A few of my remarks on blogs and forums have been less-than-civil at times. Nonetheless, I never found a need to wish another poster death or to call them something as innocuous as a "moron" - a word I'd forgotten existed until I fell down the rabbit hole. And as I wrote in a previous blog, better to get that anger out than kill your children or husband/wife/SO, or take that tempting little semi-automatic with you to school, your former work place, or a crowded mall to express how pissed off you are at them or the world.

My point is not that people can be mean from time to time, the point I want to make is just HOW MEAN is "mean"? I'm not so naive as to not understand how many live lives of hollowness; disappointment; boredom. The point here is when it inflicts harm on others and how deep the chasm of self-loathing can be to cause so many to lash out at one another in ways most would not if it was happening in the "real world." Are there truly so many people out there with the need to slap other's around? If so, is the heat building to a bonfire on these sites?

To be fair, it's not always on gossip-oriented forums and blogs where cracked minds resort to less-than-humorous put-downs. I've read a few ripe remarks on popular news sites. Most, however, have the decency to monitor base remarks, as well as to ban all in-fighting. Hurray for them! Obviously, they don't need the "hits" for their websites and can, with confidence, allow intelligent people to express diverse opinions without a Jerry Springer-like free-for-all.

Despite understanding the Yin and Yang of life = there can be no light without the darkness, and vice versa, I will not stop posing the question: "Is is true that those who feel powerless, envious, jealous, must find devious ways in which to bolster their flagging egos?" To those who find dissing strangers an adrenalin rush just for the hell of it, maybe it's time for self-reflection. If you're willing to set aside ego and face humility, you might just avoid that poison apple.

Not everyone is capable of preening in front of a mirror to ask each day "Who is the fairest of them all?" God knows what their true reflection looks like or if they can tolerate the view. There is also the possibility that the mirror will crack or talk back to tell them of another little darling in the land. For those with a grandiose pomposity within, attack is the only answer: such is the mindset of bullies, who, in the past (as well as the present) focus/ed their venomous forked-tongue and twisted fists in-person. (If they had the guts to do so, that is.) Now we have the interwebs, the virtual form of alley-fighting.

All of these thoughts and experiences, analogies and such, bring me back to the blood-lust of the masses when civility is not in action but is a desperate overreaction of repressed rage. Who are these people? The "mean girls" in particular? What drives the lurid lies they share amongst themselves regarding why they won't stop pounding the gavel on a stranger or a public figure who may have a wee bit of a shady side? Has the supposed "civilized" world tapped into the days of public hangings and be-headings? Is it still in our DNA? Perhaps. Watching a train-wreck - literally and figurtively - is dramatic, isn't it? We stop and stare in wonder that something unusual has happened. It can become a collective bonding ritual of shaking heads, nail-biting, and an end to another dreary day in the neighborhood.

Good heavens! Is the human race still wired for such base desires? Well then, in morphing from our animal instincts to spiritual purity, we have a long way to go, don't we?

To be continued.....

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