No Chicken Soup for the Soul

To continue answering the question of “Why do Americans dislike Obama?” I offer the 3rd installment of my own grasp on the situation:

Part III – Infection

I’m no doctor, but I can sense when someone is ill: glazed eyes, a fever, night-sweats, dizziness, muddled thinking resulting in poor judgment. Other symptoms include heartburn or nausea, creating an immediate need to open a window to breathe in fresh air. That latter option helps when the air is fresh, otherwise it might be best to live in a plastic bubble to avoid further infection. Such a remedy has been used by many presidents; however the classic “living in a bubble” in the Beltway tends to backfire. It’s tricky unless you have your own oxygen tank with you at all times.

My observation of the air in Washington DC is that prior to entering the city one should receive a strong vaccination to offset the grime-ridden embedded culture the elders have placed in basement laboratories to breed like a grotesque mold. When a new administration waltzes into town full of hope and optimism, the lethal spores are unleashed. Unless one wears a mask, ceases to shake hands with those who carry the bacteria and germs, refuses to taste that wonderful dinner prepared by the minority party’s leaders - which more than likely is laced with toxins - you end up sick.

A hybrid virus comprised of power, slippery slopes, rope-a-dopes, and other unsavory elements which hide within locked briefcases and compromised computers infected by Trojan horses carrying blackmail, lobbyist obligations, and so on, are merely minor infections a president must do his best to ward off.

Barack Obama is a healthy man. Although already part of the infected air as a senator, he managed to avoid the third-hand-smoke of the aged hallowed, sallow halls in buildings of heady infection. There was a spring in his step. He blew his nose frequently, not allowing the germs to move beyond the sinus cavity. (He may have taken Zinc on a daily basis as well.) And he definitely washed his hands with regularity.

Sometimes basic precautions against illness aren’t enough. To mine eye, this is precisely what has happened to President Obama. In the rush to appease all, to make good on his promises, he forgot to add chicken soup to his every day diet. He has opened the Oval Office window for fresh air whenever possible, only to be hit with a stench of greed, negativism, bigotry, and most of all, a hoard of Republicans who hated losing their precious power.

A fever crept into the healthy young president. Suddenly, he fell prey to an infection of obligations made by his campaign as well as members of his party that could not be undone; pressure not to offend people and institutions who held the cards to many of his most important legislative desires; the grim reaper of the plastic bubble slowly descending over the West Wing.

Another ailment I believe many modern presidents face as they rearrange the furniture in the Oval Office, must be the discovery of military and global scientific secrets conspiracy theorists discuss online every day: Is it that UFO’s actually exist? Is that dreaded asteroid doomsday prediction the truth? Is our (and other) government(s) seeding our skies with gridlines of toxins to rain down on the populace for nefarious purposes? Is Elvis still alive and hiding-out in the East Wing basement demanding more banana and peanut-butter sandwich's or else he’ll threaten to expose the murky goings-on in the Lincoln Bedroom over the years?

Hmmm. It’s a thought. We all know how quickly presidents age (unless they’re former movie stars with naps in the afternoon and a protective wife with a knack for hair coloring).

Bottom line? Obama needs a vaccination stat as the dastardly germs are growing stronger each day. If not, who knows how much longer it will be before he ends up in the Jimmy Carter Infirmary?

Part IV: Impatience-ion
Post Date: TBA

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