Beating a Dreaded Force

I began this blog with the intention to flog whatever was bothering me on cultural, political and personal issues. Moving around from one focus to another isn't the best way to gain a regular audience in the blogosphere. Regardless, to be true to myself, I realized I would need to write what irks me from day to day, in addition to topics that had been in my brain's slow-cooker for a while -  which meant TDFB wouldn't have a consistent focus. Good heavens! There are so many triggers for flogging floating around these days it can be daunting to choose where to begin. If I'm lucky, I can stay on a single topic for a week and then move on. "However" (a word I tend to write almost every other paragraph), irritating events dictate that I zig-zag between old and new subjects more often than not. 

When I veered into the holiday focus, I knew I would eventually return to the experiences, observations and snarky remarks concerning cyber-bullying, celebrity evisceration and OTT celebrity worship. When last treading this course, I was slinking into the jungle fever of those who worship a "certain couple" to a sickening extent. The U.S. Thanksgiving holiday provided a reprieve from the dry heaves of the journey. The plan was to continue reading the sacred sites of fantasy-laden throngs of women who expect to be invited to their idols' nuptials (in what can only be described as "Never-Never-Land") upon my return to "normal" daily life. But no. Not so. For the moment it isn't to be.

While visiting my own little forum, among several other sites, I noticed that a comment I made on this blog was  mentioned - and misinterpreted - along with another commentator casting a fairly civilized zinger my way by suggesting I am a "public hypocrite" for having written less-than-flattering comments about one particular commentator on that specific site.

Well, I thought. Let's clear up the first issue for the record, and then address the "hypocrite" accusation. I wrote a few words in response, and am now writing about it here, contemplating how to justify my own behaviour, and whether or not there is a valid justification for what I wrote and did in the past when I was part of the pack. No one's forcing me to explain myself. A much younger me would have been far from diplomatic in response. A haughty retort (if a retort occurred at all) would have been the norm. But, as the proverbial "they" say, "That was then, this is now."

What exactly do YOU consider to be "bullying"? Is there a fine line between teasing and bullying? Is a smart-ass remark bullying? Does the definition of being a "bully" mean that one or two or more people push someone around either physically and/or verbally? Is name-calling a form of "bullying"? Many think it's so. And I agree. If one calls another harmful, hurtful, denigrating names, or shoves them against a wall - or anything at all - I consider it to be bullying. Do you?

If you answered "Yes", what would you do if it happened to you? Of course, the "high road", the "evolved" solution, is to either ignore that person and carry on, leave the premises where the bully resides, or, if you are a scrappy sort, punch them in the gut and push back.

My decision in a past case of dealing with a cyber bully (following several attempts to work around them, with them, and finally, to ignore them - to no avail) was to write what was the factual truth of that person's behaviour, and, in the end, find a healthy release for my anger through humour/teasing that person in a unique creative outlet (to be revealed in another post). Was I being a "bully" for finally lashing-out and causing others to laugh by doing these things? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

It may appear on the surface that I'm simply re-writing what I've already explained about one specific cyber-bully - that I'm "obsessed." I can understand how that conclusion could be drawn - in little swirls and circles with a feather pen on parchment  - BUT, not so once again. There is a reason for this back-track. A large part of the story has a neat little happy ending for me that I eventually intend to share with glowing glee.

In the end, should I find that I too became a bully and a hypocrite in the process of reacting to a sour experience, I'll publicly take myself to task and give myself a grand old flog. Until the story is complete, I'll suspend judgment. After all, there is almost nothing I loathe more in life than hypocrisy...just like my former nemesis.

Hmmmm. This time around, do I see a new mirror with a different reflection?




Note: Please check the archives for a broader understanding of what the BLEEP I'm writing about if you're new to TDFB.