Listless & Dickless

Did you watch the Liz & Dick mess last night? Unfortunately, I did. Having already expected a non-Liz Taylor-sized performance from our Favourite Mess, Lindsay You-Know-Who, I was most distracted by the appalling script. The lack of key moments which defined their relationship not only to each other beyond the endless, bland kissing scenes, but how they were seen by The World beyond a quick shot of a newspaper headline where the Pope denounced their "sin."

I have to say it was The Worst Script - Evah!

Where was the classic paparazzi shot of Mizz Taylor and Mr. Burton canoodling on a yacht which proved to everyone that they were having an affair? No where. How about at least one "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" rehearsal scene? Was it too much of a writer and director's stretch to add a moment of one of their most brilliant performances?

Where were the nastier put-downs that Burton loved to say to La Liz that warmed her heart so much? Beyond "pudgy hands" we had nothing akin to what was often repeated by both to be his endless ruthless nastiness to win her love. Otherwise, it was lots of rolling around in beds and hotel rooms that looked the same from scene-to-scene where they kiss and kiss and kiss in every country one can imagine.

I could go on. I won't. It was a shameless exploitation by Lifetime on every level. I hope the network made a few dollars on the endless advertising which interrupted the program almost every five minutes so that we could be treated to ten minutes' worth of back-to-back commercials? Otherwise, less curious souls would have turned off the TV within the first 20 minutes and gone on to other TV options, such as a PBS expose' on the mating habits of snakes - or something.

Although Lohan, as we know, was a terrible choice to play Taylor, I'll give the writer and director a Certificate Of Exile from the TV/Film Biz first.

What a waste of everyone's time.

Otherwise, welcome back to the non-holiday world on this Monday in November.

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