Sorry-Sorry Blight

Twas a week of quiet drama throughout most of the world, other than the rumbling gunfire in Libya, now Syria, Thailand’s Myanmar-based 7.4 earthquake, increasing radiation leaks from from Japan’s Fukushima #3 reactor, Charlie Sheen’s man-kiss on Jimmy Kimmel, the breathtaking news that Lindsay Lohan plans to remove “Lohan” from her name to join the ranks of the infamous “one-name” wonders such as Cher, Madonna…and, of course, the ultimate Drama Queen reaction to Elizabeth Taylor’s death by Zsa Zsa Gabor who had to be rushed to the hospital due to high blood pressure upon hearing the news of Miss Taylor’s demise because Miss Gabor fears she will be next to meet the Grim Reaper – without her jewels, no doubt.

I must say that Zsa Zsa’s freak-out has some merit if one believes the common myth that celebrity deaths come in 3’s – which is what sent the ailing example of Hollywood indulgence into a tizzy. Well then, if Zsa Zsa could not upstage Taylor in life, she still couldn’t do it in the wake of her death, either. No one really noticed as she was in and out of the ER within hours.

Oh, and then there was Chris Brown’s flip-out in his dressing room at ABC’s Good Morning America following too many ”Why did you beat-up Rihanna” questions from his interviewer. Gosh! I wish I could throw a chair through a window like he did and not end up in jail and strut shirtless out on the street from the scene of my anger mismanagement to show the world how much I’ve been pumping-up my tat’s.

Well, no tat’s on me - and women aren’t allowed to prance around shirtless unless paid to do so in steamy little clubs and hotel rooms. Chris must have done something right because ABC reportedly would love to welcome him back to the show whenever he’d like to toss another blunt object against a glass window.

It was also a week of the usual apologies by anyone in the public "eye" who tweeted or bleated obnoxious comments. The apology syndrome is becoming so commonplace I doubt that anyone actually pays attention at this point.

The words, “I’m sorry” have less and less meaning when almost anyone can say, write, or do crappy things because that’s how they really feel as long as they explain their shame of having caused someone a bit of pain. Between politicians and celebrities, there are are a lot of people who have trouble with communication. "I misspoke,” sayeth one. “I flubbed my words,” said another. “I didn’t mean it that way.” “My words were taken out of context but I apologize for….”

Can I do that next time I feel like being a true arse? Can I tweet a lot of heinous remarks about a person I don’t like if I promise to be humble and sad the next day about my inability to control my rage or foolishness? I can tell you, aside from ranting, there are times I’d love to ram a chair or baseball bat against a glass window – but then, no doubt someone would call the police and before I knew it a gruff hand would be pushing my head down while shoving me into the backseat of a police car.

Do you think I could get out of the mess if I simply said, “Oh, I’m so sorry I called you a pig.” Naw, I wouldn’t, cuz I don’t have my own TV show as does a certain piglet who apparently is smug over his recent weight loss and felt the need to tweet a nasty remark about Kirstie Alley because she’s not anorexic and can actually dance.

Oh well. All is not lost. Nice people and events do happen. Next month the world will toss aside all the fighting and smiting when Prince William and Kate Middleton place rings on each other’s golden fingers. Best of all, there will be a Kate Middleton doll on the market just in time for the Pauper’s Ball.

And don’t you dare bring Ken to the party. Barbie would be very upset and then we’ll have six more years of another love triangle to buzz about now that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston’s tabloid saga is growing thinner than the hair on a certain someone’s wig-covered greasy balding head.