With an overload of disaster-war-based news flooding my brain, it might be a perfect time for a vacation from it all and go off to an exotic land for sun and fun. Or go on a cruise. Um, mebe not a cruise. People become ill and the trip is ruined. Nix that. How about a pristine white beach where one stretches out under a beaming sun? That would be Hawaii. Nope. Not gonna go there for now.
How about an island in the Caribbean? Nope. Too many hurricanes and drunk tourists sipping on cocktail blends that cause nausea the second I see those little umbrellas bobbing over the glass…not to ignore the gaudy shirts and sandaled feet that a pedicurist wouldn’t treat.
Okay. How about Florida? Nah. Way too much humidity going on down there for me. I’d have to shower 5 times a day and change clothes too many times. And most of my once-loved beaches have receded into a mere sand box. Key West might be nice, but there’s only one route in and out if you’re driving and not flying or sailing….kinda makes me feel a bit claustrophobic.
What about Brazil? Too loud and festive for a calm vacation. Mexico? Me no likey drug cartels and the tap water. You still need to shower in that stuff and I’d forget to close my mouth while singing, so…that’s out.
There are other options, of course. For an adventure, rather than lovely beaches, there’s always New Zealand and Australia. Oooops. I think they’re still digging out from under their recent floods and earthquakes. I don’t know for certain, as their plight has fallen off the news grid in light of the “new” news, but I don’t like to spend much time in planes, and those 12+ hour flights fill me with dread.
Oh, I know! Italy would be nice, right? A little jaunt into Tuscany would be lovely. Thus far I haven’t found anything to deter me from that destination, but give me time and I’ll surely find an excuse not to go there right now.
France? Not a bad idea...but I like Monaco better. Monte Carlo-based fun requires one to have a gigantic yacht to retreat to after a day of gross indulgence. I don’t have a yacht, nor do my friends. Poor me. Paris, then? Harumph. Shopping in Paris is more like trudging through Rodeo Drive on a very busy day. I can do that within 15 minutes of my home, so why go for that reason? Another option bites the dust.
Okay. I’ll just stay home for my vacation. The way the weather is playing out around the world, I can experience floods, a few rumbling quakes, power outages, not-very-heavily-radiated food and falling trees with a dash of abject paranoia in the comfort of my own little world. Not only that, but my local food/grocery delivery outlet works just as well as room service in a fine hotel any day.
And the driver’s tip is totally reasonable….
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