What do Lindsay Lohan and Mitt Romney have in common? The $10,000 number following both of them in the headlines today. Mitt for a lug-headed bet with Rick Perry (Read Here), and Lindsay for, well, see below.
How can I ignore the latest Low-Hand debacle despite my recent post of empathy for this seemingly "lost" creature? I can't. Or won't. Or something.
Oh, the decadent, carefree lives of the not-so-rich-but-oddly-famous among us. Have you heard that Missy Low-Hand was traipsing around Hawaii over the weekend during a break in her court-appointed Community Service duties at the Los Angeles County Morgue? And that, somewhere along the way, she was clear-headed enough within her "sobriety" to leave her expensive Chanel purse, containing, among other items, her passport and a fascinating roll of $10,000 cash, within the car in which she rode to yet another party where she could carry on with her ultra-charming social ways.
Oh the horror when she discovered the purse and its contents were missing! This is the second time that Low-Hand has been far away from Los Angeles and had her passport go missing - within days before she was/is to appear in front of a judge for her "check up" - as it were.
But, alas, the mystery theft has a slightly happy ending. The purse was "returned/found" containing, among who-knows-what-else, what we can assume is her passport and the lip filler injection needles she must carry with her at all times, but NOT the $10,000 cash! Wow! What a surprise! The MONEY IS MISSING!
I don't know about you - male or female - but all of us have probably left important items in cars or elsewhere at some point during our lives only to discover the missing purse/wallet/other items(s) shocker when they were long gone...or, if the casing was still left behind, you can be sure whatever cash or credit cards you carried were nowhere to be found. Unless, of course, a Good Samaritan found your stuff.
C'mon, Low-Hand! No one expects you to be "all there" anymore, but who are you hanging with? Don't you have someone other than your equally "out there" Mama-Manager-Bad-Influence-Dina to watch over you? No more "assistants" traveling with you? No "handlers" to ensure you stay out of trouble? No? That would cost too much? Hmmm. Well, maybe you do have some help and they felt they were owed "back pay" and decided to help themselves to what you foolishly left behind in your eagerness to
I know it's hard to be an air-head. I had a few years in my 20's when I was an air-head, too. I left a wallet on the top of a car I drove off into the blue yonder...with its contents landing all over the highway behind me, sprinkling all of the papers and money tucked within. Lucky for me it was within a few yards of my home and everything was retrieved. But I wasn't thrilled by the lapse in awareness.
During a quick stopover at a grocery market within the first year of living in LA, I left a rather large purse on the floor of my car, taking only my wallet with me. I didn't lock the car. It was 1973. I still believed most people were honest. Hahahahaha! Upon return, the purse was gone, of course. I was so puzzled. Such a thing had not happened to me until then. I was especially upset as the large purse held technical equipment for broadcasting.
But then, I'm a mere mortal. If I were to have a $$$ Chanel bag I would take it with me wherever I went. Beyond the purse, if I had $10,000 effing dollars in it the thought would def cross my mind to remember that part of its contents no matter how "sober" I may be. Ahem.
Dear Lindsay. Unless you set this up for various reasons unknown to the normal functioning brain, it might be a good idea to attach your head to your body before you attempt to go out in "not-so-polite company" in the future.
And I hope you'll be able to show up to your court appearance on Wednesday in Los Angeles. One more flake-out and the judge just might make you do 50 successive Jumping Jacks before sending you back out into the wild.
Haven't read the story? The Curious Case of Lindsay's Loss
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