Sunday, July 3, 2011

On With the Hats



The most passionate nuptial kiss in the world has been floating around the interwebs for the past two days. Ah, can you feel the sparks? That’s why I adore royal weddings. The principles never hold back when it involves PDA. And Prince Albert II of Monaco and his new bride, Charlene Wittstock, didn’t let me down!

Of course, Charlene was a bit miffed prior to her jog down the aisle on Friday for the civil ceremony following what has been almost-confirmed as a near-non-ceremony after she learned that her Prince Alarming is involved in a paternity lawsuit/crisis with an ex-lover. Apparently she had to be held back from dashing on a jet back to her homestead in South Africa. Someone had to talk her down with calm, melodious, hypnotizing mouth sounds, I’m sure. Poor Charlene. Yet another woman blind-sided by yet another powerful player in the Menz in Heat Chronicles of late.

Aside from that last-minute foolery, the Religious, less casual wedding took place yesterday at the Royal Palace where the attire was formal and at least one special hat made its way into the throng – although nothing can ever compare with the hatz-e-nests of British Royal Weddings. However, this particular hat has a life of its own, albeit subdued by other standards, and was worn by Prince Albert’s sister, Princess Caroline of Hanover.


Wide it is, indeed, but at least it doesn’t have birds mating or sitting on colourful eggs adorning the top, as well as how it isn’t glued-on to her forehead at a dangerous tip as we saw in numerous mind-numbing configurations during the wedding of William and Kate. But, I have noticed that Kate/Catherine is getting on with the mad-hatter madness now that she and William are making public appearances.


This little ditty was worn in honour of Canada Day while they are in the midst of their Canadian visit to endlessly pose for pictures and wave and smile. Such a hat on the usually dressed-down Kate tells me that the English hat tricks are only just beginning – again – to become a consistent, persistent trend outside of weddings and the American Kentucky Derby.

In curiosity mode concerning the origin of British women’s fetish for adorning their heads with the most bizarre creations of many a milliner’s hallucinations, I began a search of hat history in Britain society and came up with nothing more than bland articles which always ended with a shrugging explanation that such hats are “creative expressions” of various designers that English women in particular will wear to announce their status in UK-based society; that it is part of the “etiquette” of it all, and – ho hum.

What a disappointment! I had hoped to find an historical link to the evolution of females placing fruit, parts of dead animals and such on top of a sturdy cloth and planting it in strange locations not quite on their head. Obviously, the hats to which I am referring aren’t built to ward off the sun. ‘Tis all about fashion. A fascinating, confusing, amusing way in which to say how velly velly unique and special one is.

Actually, I love hats. I wear them quite often. The difference is that they are beret’s and slightly over-sized woven straw hats. I’ve also been known to wear fedora’s at a mild tilt. But I have never wanted to look like an alien or an advertisement for a Carmen Miranda film, so…….. And I do find the less silly hats to be a thing of beauty when it is constructed with restraint and draped over the head as opposed to becoming an extension of a colourful protruding forehead tumor.

Of course, despite rather detailed keywords in my fevered hat history search which led to nowhere, I’m sure that if I were to continue delving deeper into the dusky corners of the webs I would find someone’s thesis on hats that would satisfy this new interest in the WTF of it all. For now, I must make do with understanding it’s all in a day’s work for women of a certain stature in British society, and let it go – for now.

But I won’t stop posting these amazingly atrocious or hysterically benign examples of just how eccentric the human race can be – even within the walls of the supposed extremely proper and demure elements of royalty.






Photo Credits: Reuters, Getty, AP, Celebuzz, WENN

3 comments:

  1. In regards to the last three posts, are we turning into TMZ??

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  2. Considering that TMZ is one of the most credible "gossip" sources out there, I consider the comparison a great compliment.

    Way cool, tho' I still dislike Harvey's need to laugh on camera while slurping whatever he drinks and hiding behind the working-minions' partitions (for why? Is he not happy with how he looks below-the-belt?) of all over-worked TV kids? Such exploitation vis-vis compensation is why I finally said F-U to TV production...in both high and lower positions over the years. BAW!

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  3. Oh, Anon - you must have missed my political rant which was within the 3 prior posts.

    Chow!

    ReplyDelete