The subject today is all about Romance! The lack thereof; the continuing process of maintaining Heart-Felt Lurve in an existing connection; the woes which join with a broken connection. First, I feel a need to express that I have had incredible love affairs. The running-on-the-sand-hand-in-hand classic moments many, many times. Magical moments when, while with one of My Greatest Loves, Monarch butterflies literally flew out of a huge tree whilst my love and I strolled by in High Octane Emotional-Physical Love Energy with the butterflies whirling around us as if in a vintage Disney animation.
Sigh. It didn't last. Someone got "cold feet."
However, I continued year-after-year to remain open to The Romantic Within until one day a desire to hold a crucifix in front of me whenever a potential love entered my life felt better than holding a rose. And so began my extremely strange-to-me change of heart. I decided that following "Romance" throughout most of my life was not working. Yes, as mentioned above, I've had extraordinary connections. I'm fortunate to have loved and to have been loved in ways many only imagine, but finally that battered organ screamed "Enough!" And that is where it remains to this day after a hiatus from that part of Life for quite some time.
What does "Romance" really MEAN – which is, of course, impossible to define as the sensation is subjective. Right? Your sensation of "being in romantic love" may be and more than probably is entirely different than mine. Whatever it is to anyone, it is a powerful force indeed.
HOWEVER, being a "Romantic" - read definition here - can be a bitch. It appears benign. And it can be. I've not lost every Romantic Cell in my body over the years; nevertheless.....
If you have finally denounced finding yourself in unfulfilling marriages/relationships/affairs, the following are my Evolved Tips:
1) If in a new relationship, try to ignore that they are not dressed exactly like you always dreamed your Love Would Look. Hope they will come to their senses and magically don the attire of your turn-on.
2) If NOT in a relationship with that Once-Special-Someone(s), do your best to avoid using music as the heartbroken (or beautiful) soundtrack to your life. Otherwise, almost all cool tunes are off the table.
3) Try not to expect feelings that you felt 10 years ago – pro or con – still exist. Change happens. For some, love grows stronger. For others, the tree has finally died through soil erosion.
4) Do not, under any circumstances, listen to music that fills your heart with love for an unavailable person.
5) Avoid watching "An Affair To Remember" at all costs.
6) Same as above with "Notebook."
7) Do not take hallucinogenic drugs. One never knows what you'll find yourself imagining.
8) If you must keep old pics of the relationship/marriage/affair, try to remember how you didn't have sex the night before those "happy-lovey" picture(s) – and all will be well in your world. If, unfortunately, you had mind-blowing sex, try to understand human physiology. That'll knock you down to size and, thus, emend that battle between Lust & Love.
9) Finally, wash those damn sheets. No matter how long they've been in the hamper it's a masochistic reminder you undoubtedly are not doing on purpose.
10) DO hire carpet and upholstery cleaners to erase every scent of that SOB out of your energy-field. Otherwise, MOVE. Or, just go on with your life because, after all, it was YOUR home either legally or where you and yours spent most of your time together, right? But, you can't really do it cuz You Are A Romantic!
11) If you are a "Period Romantic," for your salvation, avoid watching "Pride & Prejudice" on overcast days. And try not to roam empty pastures and fields in a love-inflicted haze while it's misty or raining. Even Sunny Days can be dangerous.
Because we are now in a double-digit countdown, the formatting is off. and I just won't go on – it's soooo annoying.
Bottom line: Be open with your heart; be cautious at the start; believe in what you feel; in the gut is where it's real.
Signed,
A True Recovering Romantic
Right on, babes! So sad to know that you had to shut your heart down to carry on, though. It could come back. You are wiser now.
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