Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday’s Punting

You know it’s a truly dry news cycle when the primary story in the U.S. is focused on the S&P’s U.S. credit downgrade and how all of the other financial markets are “scrambling” to correct this mess. Of course, the credit downgrade isn’t something to ignore. It is simply another classic example of the domino effect of what can happen when government is run by children and most of the adults have left the room. 

But if you aren’t interested in following the nervous breakdowns on Wall Street and other financial markets today, it gets even worse when all of the entertainment sites are focused on last night’s Teen Choice Awards and what some of the teener’s and non-tweener’s were and weren’t wearing. Zzzzzz.

Other than this funny little ditty, the Teen Choice Awards were meh: Clones

I yawn again, something I’ve been doing quite often these days when on the hunt to find something of interest to write without delving too deeply into charts and conspiracy theories about the current state of affairs – both in politics and the fluffy focus on celebrity romances. People are still obsessing on about whether or not Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were doing “it” while he was married to Jennifer Aniston. Hello? 

One slightly interesting piece of info that has come out over the hours joins politics, Hollywood, and conspiracies together: the revelation that Jackie O believed Lyndon Johnson was behind the assassination of JFK. Really? I thought it was the CIA, the Mafia, and their various hit squads.

Not so, according to this: Jackie Oh No!

(ABC is currently denying the above-linked story.)

Slightly interesting, eh? I wonder why Caroline Kennedy doesn’t want the TV movie to run? What’s in it that many don’t already know? Or could it be that Stepford Wife of the Decade, Katie Holmes playing Jackie O, oozed too much Scientology-robot-stares at the camera? You know her husband Tommy-Boy Cruise, had to have made sure she stayed the course during filming.

Yes, I’m vague today. Forgive me but my brain is in vacation mode. I simply want to find something to write about that will make me laugh or feel like throwing a plate across the room. So far I’ve had very little luck.

I’m temporarily Tea Partied-out following that horrid little show they put on in Washington of late. The damage has been done to the U.S. economy through their hissy-fits, and for now, while Congress is in recess, I’d like to have some breathing room because it’s inevitable that the sheet will be flying all over the Potomac when everyone returns in September.

So, I wait. And read. And play with the design of the blog, forcing myself not to make radical changes lest half the readership fall into a shocked “Oh no! You didn’t do that, did you? How could you?” mode and leave in droves or in a huff, as one poster did on a message board I once ran following a format and colour change.

Where are the scandals of only a few months ago when every other day seemed to bring another Menz of Power out of the cheating closet? What happened to Sarah-I-Betcha-Pales-In-Comparison to the new good ole brain freeze that is Michele Bachmann? Methinks Sarah is hiding-out in one of the last theatres where her non-acclaimed documentary, The Undefeated, was last shown. It’s very safe and quiet there.

If you too are ready for a break from all of the nasty news floating around about wars and money, then you may find another high profile rumbling to your liking.

According to a story I read an hour ago that is no longer available anywhere online from where I may link, the infamous Mrs. Wallis Simpson who supposedly ruined the monarchy when she stole the heart of then reluctant-to-be-King Edward (who eventually abdicated his throne for the love of her), apparently still loved her first husband and only remained with Edward because he threatened suicide if she would ever leave him.

Can you believe it? The woman all of England hated for so many years was actually trapped into marriage by King Edward who many deemed to be “mad”? What a sorry life that was! Apparently Mrs. Simpson vamped just a bit too much for the gentle heart of a royal Peter Pan to ignore without wanting more.

And while we’re focusing on the other shore, you know it has to be a really, really bad news and also extremely slow news day when entire articles have been written online to wish Princess Beatrice (the one with the reindeer’s colon hat from The Royal Wedding) “Happy Birthday!”

If all it requires to become an international celebrity is to place a foolish mess on top of one’s head at a high profile event, then I think I’ll spend the afternoon riffling through my “To Give Away” bag before I drop it off at the Salvation Army. Surely my future wealth resides somewhere within.

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