In my view, there are Two Different Types of illness-accident "sharing" categories: Constant Complaining about new or old health issues in a whiny, Woe Is Me Tone/Attitude (which can be annoying and, if heard over-and-over again certainly brings on the Inner Sighs and Eye-Rolling of "Here we go again…").
The Second Category is when we discuss our Personal History. If our history involves serious illness or accidents from which we have grown, learned, or simply survived, then what is the problem with mentioning it? We seem to have Double Standards about Who Can Talk about these incidents and Who Cannot.
A Celebrity or Basic Public Figure is usually lauded when they talk about a dire accident they experienced, or an illness they overcame or have lived with. Everyone cheers that they were so "brave" and "bold" and "open" and "honest" – and I'm NOT writing about Abuse Issues. Just health. However, if a Regular Person does the same, too many gnarly fingers are pointed their way in dismissive, often judgmental ways because "they" think you just want to complain about Your Drama.
I take issue with the idea that including health stories when discussing our lives is "off." The following is an example:
First off, I haven't been overtly hassled by anyone online (in particular) when I have written of my Past Health Issues. My intention in writing about some of the very "Nine Lives" survival stories is just that: telling anyone who doesn't know me very well about My Life. And, from what has happened in that life is why I am whoever I am Today! Period. I have physical scars that sometimes require a brief explanation, which, of course, is part of My Story.
In addition, the accidents more than illness, have been of the sort where one usually doesn't live, or, if so, will then be crippled/disabled. I find it amazing that I am still alive, not "crippled" and can put a sentence together with or without correct grammar, so, of course, I will tell anyone who asks what happened – and usually do so with a positive, sometimes Inspirational and often humorous tone. I am not seeking attention or sympathy. I am a story-teller and have several incredible stories to tell. Just like Other People have their own stories to share – and "should" be able to do so without the glare of Jaundiced Eyes trying to shut them up or shame them into feeling as if they are Doing Something Wrong!
Again, in my view, unless someone is whining and clearly Playing The Victim, their story is as valid to impart as other major events in their lives. We don't slam friends for telling us how much they loved their dog or cat who died years ago and what the circumstances were of the pet's passing, do we? Mention an animal's health problems – past or present – and the Huge Sympathy Train begins rolling down the Compassion Track.
You may wonder what triggered this post since it has come from nothing in the news, or a Backlash Personal Experience. The idea to touch on the subject in a reasonably brief way is simple: I read a few Words Of Wisdom this morning where, once again, the message involved dropping our "stories." In truth, I was irked all over again by The Wise Ones' attempts to silence those who may need or want to share their lives, Good & "Bad" Parts, without being accused of the clichéd Attention Seeking Motive.
Words of Wisdom are extremely helpful as reminders for our Spiritual Growth, but too many times those Messages usually involve statements against talking about a seemingly Not Positive Event in our lives so that we may enjoy Inner Peace without re-living Those "Bad" Moments. Okay, it's true that the less energy we devote to our Old Stories the better our New Stories will be. But, as I wrote, some stories should be told if we are to have sincere, clear and open friendships. I know I want to understand my friends as much as possible. Should they have experienced something unusual in the Physical Ailments Department, I don't mind learning of it. In fact, the information allows me to see them in a broader way.
I say Let's Allow Others & Ourselves to Speak Freely without worrying about being judged (unless, of course, we're screaming at someone and not saying very kind things in the process as it can be harmful to all concerned). Just try to not whine about whatever IT may be...
Which reminds me that as I write at my desk my back is really hurting and I may need to stand up for a while to feel better, because, you know, I hurt my hip a while ago and it becomes stiff when I sit, requiring movement to allow better circulation cuz' the leg I broke at 13 is attached to the hip I broke and, man-oh-man, does that area get sore at times, which gives me a slight headache that brings my mood down into the depths of some kind of weird despair…..
Have a Wonderful Whatever, and Thanks for stopping by!
Image via: http://www.wordscover.com
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