Who Deserves a Flog Today?

Hello there! It's Father's Day (as if you didn't know...). One father out there deserves to be sent to the Village Square where everyone may flog the BS out of him. Name? Michael Lohan. Oh sure, it's not ALL his fault for NOT being Father Of The Year of any year. However, he won't be overlooked by The Whip today. Why? Why not! 

I'm not in a mood to write about anything other than a subject many of us have grown tired of reading and hearing – Lindsay Lohan's legal woes and machinations. The Flogging Whip is focusing on her recent move to yet another Rehab Facility with the point being Who The Hell Does She Have Dirt On to be able to constantly defy the Legal System in California with endless Judge Wrist Slapping's and very little more than Rehab-Rehab and Threats Of Jail which never happen?

Really. I'm serious. Could you or I make decisions about our Legal Punishments were we to do even one of the illegal things this Mess Of A Mess continues to do – year-after-year? Let's begin with the Beginning: I doubt that I could get away with painting my fingernails with an "F-U" and flailing them around the court as did she in whateveryearitwasandwhocaresanyhow. Or be late so many times to court hearings? Or break probation at every turn only to have the Judge Shrug and move a few papers around, then wag a finger at her before sending her back out into The Wild to spend another night wandering through the dark halls of the Chateau Marmont, drink in one hand, something else in the other?

Did you know that The Low-Hand has been moved to her THIRD Rehab location since the judge gave her attorney's the option of a 90-Day Lock-Down Rehab or Jail?  (Hmmm. What would you choose were you given such a choice?) And then the Musical Rehab Chairs game began in seeming-earnest by her rep's when it was discovered that the first choice would not allow her to smoke ciggie's or take the medication that she appears to be addicted-to, thus, she stomped her gross feet, screamed "NO WAY!" and, without the prosecutions' blessing, was suddenly hovering around a different facility in Orange County, CA until it was determined that the place was not properly licensed?

Then came the move to the Betty Ford Clinic in Rancho Mirage, CA where, via "leaks" from someone (*cough*) we heard all about how she could smoke there, take her Rx unless it was determined that she really didn't need it – and then, shock of shocks, when the Rx (Adderall) was taken away, she freaks-out, doesn't go to Group Therapy sessions because she was told she could have Private Therapy and, according to various reports, made life for the staff at Betty Ford even more miserable than she had the last time she was there? "Some people" are suggesting that she was "kicked-out." What? They don't want to help someone who doesn't want help and bitches all day about it? What kind of facility is that, I ask?

So, based on whomever's and whatever's story you choose to believe following more circle-talk about how she needs a "different" kind of Rehab because Betty Ford's place doesn't provide 90-Day Care – she is now at Malibu's Cliffside Resort Rehab Place. Want more details? CLICK HERE 

For the eye-rollers out there who think this is a non-story-issue-concern, why not think about what would happen if you were charged with a variety of ill-deeds and the court ordered you to go to Rehab or Jail – whatever suits your fancy, in a sense? First off, how many people are given that option? Anyone have numbers on it? I don't. I've checked around and nothing is reputable enough with statistics to link. But, I doubt many people ever get that option. Then the exact rehab location. Then to leave all of them for absurd reasons to end up at a Resort rehab where, despite previous "tough talk" by Cliffside's owner on Low-Hand's situation with Adderall (before he knew she would be going there), she will at least have clean ocean air to breathe; lovely sunsets to watch, and a place where she can be massaged into a stupor not unlike her waking state.

Oh, the California Legal System has become such a joke because of this one person that I'm hoping future Criminals who are treated very much unlike Lindsay has been treated will begin using "The Lohan Defense" to confront judges and prosecutors. I know I would. In fact, I'd cause quite a ruckus and make sure The Media would cover it. I'd arrange for people to hold signs in my defense outside the courthouse with Sharpie Written Words on cardboard appropriate to the event. I'd sit beside my lawyer and play with my hair; do my best to look chaste while bored; pretend to have a problem with my middle finger and hold it up all by itself to ask the judge if he/she could examine it for splinters or something. Yeah. That's what I'd do. And then, I'd post bail by selling my last faux gem, and waltz out the door with visions of choosing my legal fate dancing in my glazed eyes.

Yep. We can laugh at this debacle all we want. I'm only laughing because I won't allow myself to cry over Spilled Injustice, which is precisely how I view what has been happening with this person's Legal Life for way too long. However, my laugher is actually hollow, as the lenience shown to an obvious addict and thief would not be shown to anyone else. I know a few people who have been sent to jail for far less; who had money; excellent attorney's. No prior records. No felonies, in particular.

Thank you for reading my disgust today. I'll now carefully set The Flogging Whip down and hope it won't be needed for this subject ever again.

Now I'm really laughing!