Who Deserves a Flog Today?

It's very easy to find subjects/people/issues/non-issues to hand over to The Flogging Whip today to do its often painful work. So easy, in fact, that The Whip will whirl around The World to flash its lashings. The Whip needs a little trip as it is, therefore, I'm providing the trusty Tool Of A Preferred Form Of Punishment with the freedom to roam wherever it will in a frenzy not unlike The Red Wedding, minus all of the blood and audience gasps.

The first stop along the Flogging Route will begin in these United of States because the word "United" isn't true these days at all. Just ask any woman with a brain how she feels about the escalating attack on Women's Freedoms on EVERY level re: control over their/her/every-woman's, body/bodies, to how they/we/she/her are treated in the proverbial Work Place - exemplified via the truly outstandingly sexism-personified callous remarks brought forth from the tongues of Nays. You know what I mean: The Naysayers on anything to do with Modern Times. Yes indeed! Flog these guys real hard! Don't they have loftier things to think of and do than making women a Prime Target cuz according to the Brain Deads, Wimmens are supposed to be a-bakin' bread an' cookies at home, then greetin' their Menz at the door following a "hard day" at the office flirting with secretaries, with those nicely brushed by The Wifey slippers in one hand, while offering a martini in the other, wearing the most attractive apron evah over an ever-expanding preggers tummy. Just as it "should" be, say these minds of Solid Granite Blocks. So, Bow Down, guys, and take it where it will hurt the most: in your exposed head where what's left of your brains have been atrophying for decades.

Next, hurling itself outward from The States, The Whip will whippity-whip-it over to Berlin to lasso Brad Pitt and throw him into a bath, grab his awful wrinkly, zipper-exposing black jeans and saggy shirt he hasn't removed for days (as he tours The World to Premiere his new film, WWZ) and toss those messy garments into the nearest fire pit in the alley where he must be sleeping these days, then summon Tom Ford back into his Wardrobe's Life.

Zig-zagging, The Trusty Whip may stop by North Korea for a little fun and games with Kim Whatshisnameagain while his new BFF, Dennis Rodman, plot to take over the newest High Tech version of the ole' WAR board game just for giggles. After The Flogging Whip has finished with them, the best they could do for entertainment would be harassing the nurses in the ICU. Better to play Trivial Pursuit in the future, boys.

Following the above, The Whip has to get really, really serious and go out into The Heavens to find God to have a little flog-talk about who's responsible for the increasing madness infiltrating what we once believed was a fairly growing Civilized World. The Angry God of the Old Testament would totally relate to The Whip, providing new suggestions for its quest to flog all of The Wrongs out there.

One of the Saddest Wrongs going on today is the news that Paris Jackson, 15, daughter of Michael Jackson, attempted suicide last night and is currently in a hospital in LA. The Whip will slip back into its sleek sheath; carefully lay down by her bedside, and offer its "Self" as a gift to Finish-Off the remaining Jackson Family Crazies who want her money and little more.

Sometimes even a Whip can have kind intentions.