Bad-Will Punting

John Edwards -- aka Mr. Cad -- has been indicted by a federal grand jury on six counts of lotsa sneaky things surrounding money spent to keep his former mistress, Rielle Hunter, hidden from view when he ran for president of the USA in 2008. Wow! That affair is turning out to be quite expensive, isn’t it?

First, he lost his wife’s and children’s trust. Next, he lost his once-loyal followers when the news of his affair and the child that Rielle bore unto him (so to speak) came to light. Then, his ailing wife Elizabeth publicly flailed him in her dying days – and now the Powers That Be are taking him to the grand woodshed of federal legal hell. It’s a tad hot in hell we’ve been told, thus I’ll assume that being in a woodshed isn’t very comfortable – or safe. Wood burns, and man-oh man, is this guy gonna burn!

Unlike other cads of late who have provided tremendous headline fodder for their sex-capades, Edwards’ lapse in judgment appears to have been with only one woman – that we know of. When he lied to his wife and the country that he was not the father of Hunter’s baby, the initial public response was to assume he had done so in a desperate attempt to not further tarnish his “good boy” clean sheen image – as well to avoid Elizabeth’s wrath. Or so we thought.

With an investigative unearthing of the alleged use of campaign funds to hide his love (and new child) away, it’s now clear as the bell on your local chapel’s steeple that John Edwards was in doggie dung hell with more than his people. Talk about having skeletons rattling around in one’s closet! (In Edwards' situation, perhaps “bomb shelter” is appropriate.)

Prior to the final admission that Rielle Hunter’s child was the product of Edwards’ swimmers, Oprah Winfrey went to the massive North Carolina-based Edwards estate in 2009 for an interview and house tour with Elizabeth Edwards while John was on the premises.

Oprah managed to snag a terribly uncomfortable-looking John into a brief side interview. At one point, she asked a question he must not have appreciated, as I swear his body language and facial expression indicated he wanted to punch the Big O not only in the face but into space. It was one of those “if looks could kill” moments. Right then I knew he was, indeed, a sorry piece of worm-infested seed.

Too bad he was the ultimate cad.

I wonder if Edwards has any regrets? Was the affair worth it? He is a wealthy man, but his Savings account and other holdings may dwindle over time like the toothy beaming smiles he flashed at Rielle while she videotaped her way through his campaign trail. Have you seen the footage of how he flirted with her in those days? Yes indeedy, that man was smitten -- or something.

Have you ever had a wild night that ended with a literal rude awakening the next morning when you realized that the blanket-covered lump sleeping beside you looked like a sibling of Attila the Hun? You don’t remember their name or why you ended-up in their bed? And then the blur of the previous night flits before your swollen eyes and you want to run to the shower and scrub that greasy lump’s grub right out of your hair?

Yep. Those hindsight regrets can get you every time. If you’re lucky, you can slip away without discovery and never see that person again. If not, you’re in for a very awkward ride. Such is the way of mindless one-night stands. But that’s not how it played-out for Mr. Look-At-Me-I’m So-Pretty when he and Rielle did the dirty-ditty. He just had to bring her aboard his floating ego trip which has now brought him to the level of a sinking ship.

Stay tuned……