The Weekly Fluff

What have our Fave Miscreants been up to lately? Rumours swirl: some are true, others not-so-much. Let's take a brief overview of what The Gossips are saying about Those People, shall we? Okay. Here we go into the anus of non-news (in most cases).

I'm shocked! Taylor Swift has once-again swiftly ended another two-month relationship with a child. True. The wittle curly-haired Boy Wonder Of One Direction, Harry Turn-Styles, and Always Broken-Hearted Taylor, stopped kissing forever on New Year's Eve in Times Square, dashed off to an island somewhere, had a big fight, and now she's Never Going To Love Him Again while she gathers-up more trophy's next year from the wailing sounds we'll hear on her next album. Wonder if she'll include Conor Kennedy in the mash-up? She'll need to be careful, though, as one doesn't want to get on the wrong side of Taylor-touting Ethel Kennedy. Maybe a ditty called "Summer Lurve While Shopping For Pottery" would do? Lame, I know. However, it fits, somehow.

Brad Pitt is losing roles because he won't fix his weathered, wrinkly face. "Everyone" in the Exec Suites of The Studios think he looks like crap. He must think so, too, as he apparently doesn't give two twits in a twat about how awful his overly-worn clothes look in combo with greasy hair. Oh Brad, what hast thou done? Is Fatherhood and living with a Recluse Spider taking a toll? Or, are you too attached to something that goes up in smoke where your career appears to be going? Or so "they" hint and suggest.

Courtney Cox has joined the Immovable Face Trend with who-knows-what "work" but whatever she's done is freaking-out her fans. Hey, I'm not a fan, but I'm raising my brows a bit, too. Which reminds me, I need an upper lid, brow lift. Courtney, any suggestions? Never mind. Your work is too obvious. I think I'll go in the direction of Tommy Cruise. One little injection at a time – over time.

Hahahahahah! OJ Simpson claims to be the father of Khloe Kardashian and that her testimony for HOW WONDERFUL he is will free him from jail. Hmmm. What an incestuous little group that was back in the 80's/early 90's. Kris Jenner, Robert Kardashian, Nicole Brown Simpson, OJ, Faye Resnick… Wouldn't surprise me one bit. I knew and liked Faye. I met the "Inner Circle" after Nicole's murder. Wagons circled. Even then Bruce Jenner looked like a beaten-down man…and that was twenty years ago. But he made a fine-looking Transsexual.

Rihanna and Chris Brown. So what?

Bill Clinton has "other women on the side." Water is wet.

If you have an extra $100,000 to waste, hire Lindsay Low-Hand and her Leech Mother to come to your party. They're always loaded loads of fun! Make sure your party is in another country so Low-Hand won't be driving. Lock up the jewels and prepare a Special Ladies Room complete with table mirrors and pre-rolled $100 bills for her pleasure. Add a plunger next to the bidet and all will be well.

Mariah Carey is apparently a Selfless Goddess Diva. That's right. It's been quietly reported that she often shows-up at children's hospitals without makeup or entourage and plays with the kids…also sans Paps. Now that's the way to do it if you're sincere.

John Boehner smokes and drinks. Really? I would never have guessed. Whoa, did I just smell a hint of whiskey?

Music isn't as creative as it once was in the 30's, 40's, 60's and 70's. Just ask anyone with good ears.

Mila Kunis looks like she's gained 100 lbs., added dark circles under her eyes, and can't dress for sheet now that she's spending time with Ashton Kutcher. What happened? Oh, I already wrote it. Peeps are dissing her New Sloppiness and can't imagine how she was ever voted "The Sexiest Woman Alive" a few months ago. She probably was sexy when she was alive.

That's as fluffy as it gets – for now.

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