Before we begin a stroll through Gossip-Land, the world went on Pause for nearly an hour this morning waiting for Mizzy Dizzy Lindsay Lohan to arrive from NY to LAX to jump into different clothing, leap into attorney Mark Heller's car, to then finally make her appearance almost an hour late to the Santa Monica courthouse for her scheduled court hearing. Yet another bizarre Lindsay Low-Hand episode of Get Thee To The Court On Time – Never.
Her Lowness has finally come to whatever senses remain now that she's seemingly ruined her nose for good, unable to smell roses among the vines, as it were. But the very thought of going to jail must have reached the inner recesses of her mind, drifting like a spot of white powdery stuff through the tunnels of her sinuses right up into the mausoleum that is her brain, as she has now struck a plea deal with prosecutors for her Lying To The Cops debacle back in whatever year it was – seems sooo long ago, doesn't it? So many Crackie Episodes Ago, in fact. Hard to keep track of why she's in court every other month.
This time, Lindsay will go back to Rehab for 90 days Locked-Down; will dabble in Community Service – again – and (supposedly) go to jail for 5 days...but wait! Surprise! Those 5 days will be rolled into her Rehab Time, so no jail, actually. Again. Gee. What a shock! And, once again, she almost slides.
No further comment on The Ultimate Mess. I can hear the smoke flying out of many, many ears from those who think she should be in jail for a number of reasons.
Now, on to this Fluff:
First off, you might know that the past few weeks have been Velly Velly Bad for little Justin Beaverland. Wow! Collapsing onstage? Making fans wait at a concert until he was booed? Trying to punch-out a paparazzo while wearing his latest jammy's in public? But what's the "rumour"? Nothing, really. Just a kid with too much money, too many screaming fans, and no more Selena Gomez to keep him somewhat grounded. Whispers abound that intervention is in the making.
Poor thing, he's so deep into his own PR that Justin (reportedly) refuses to be involved with his mother's new book! I mean, who wouldn't want to be part of a story about drug addiction and that sort of unsavory info while acting-out like a Wannabe Chris Brown? Get some sleep, little darlin', and try to find pants small enough to suit you next time you're out and about.
Suspicions mount over whether Kanye West and Kim K are really REAL or just another PR couple. But what about The Baby! Was Kim Kar-Kash-In's near-miscarriage simply the opening scene of what will follow when Kanye runs for his life to get away from the damage he's done to his already not-so-grand Famewhore Reputation? Is she actually, truly, honestly preggers, curious minds want to know.
James Franco actually laughed AT himself during an interview with Stephen Colbert. Do you like him now?
Kristen Stewart continues to look bored
Chris Brown continues to show us how mature he is now that he's just screaming at valet's over a $10 parking fee and not slamming women to the ground but, instead, sings about how he owns a certain part of a woman's body if she's his "bitch." How charming, as always.
I don't know how you feel, of course, but I'm having trouble watching The Client with Jennifer Love-Hewitt this season. She's done something to her face. It's odd. Distracting. She still wants us to see her in bikini's, though. Some things never change.
And what is the Truth about Lil Wayne's condition? Reports still have him at Cedars Sinai in ICU surrounded by Major Friends such as Drake, all in a "very serious" mood. Whatever is going on, it doesn't sound great. Anything else I'd write would only be conjecture, so that's it on this developing situation for now.
I promise you that somewhere in the Celeb Universe someone is becoming pregnant at this very moment. Hollywood is just FULL of New Babies!
I've now hit my Low Point for the day. Fluffing-Off until tomorrow!
Image via: http://www.clickondetroit.com
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