As expected, the reviews for Lifetime's atrocity, Liz & Dick, have been brutal, if not hilarious. The Hollywood Reporter captured what many had known from the inception: it was an horrific idea to attempt to turn Lindsay Low-Hand into La Liz Taylor and expect anyone to believe a mumbled word she utters. Read THIS and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's a wonderful review if you enjoy reading the truth.
Speaking of "truth" and Lindsay Low-Hand in the same paragraph is also a joke. The media carries on in its lambasting of Lindsay's denial of knowing she has a half-sister via her father's philandering's when questioned during last week's GMA interview. Of course she knew. Of course she lied about it. She loathes her loathsome father and is certainly way too Hollywood Royalty in her mind to acknowledge another member exists in the Lohan lineage who may one day out-crack the well-known Crackie. Or something.
Oh well. Not such Big Newz that a Lohan lies. Remember her mother's interview with Dr. Phil a few months back wherein Dina Lohan slurred her way through various versions of words to tell Uncle Phil she doesn't "party" with Lindsay when, later that week she was out and about with her Little Darling? And Dina blames her daughter's misfortunes on "Los Angeles" and its culture. Many laughed, as NYC is where the Lohan action is at these days.
But, enough of the easy shots. Let's get even easier with Gossip Targets In Summation:
According to almost everyone, James Franco is a snobby overachieving self-absorbed, self-important jerk. Jessica Simpson Lie-po'ed herself into trimness, citing it's her diet (for which she is paid to advertise a certain product), not anything else. Hmmmm. Sean Peen (typo – and it's going to stay) is reportedly romancing The Machine that is Florence. Yawn. Count that one out in 5-4-3…. Rihanna's weird plane trip carrying journalists has been in the midst of major meltdowns as she doesn't give interviews, only German Meat Crackers and an Australian passenger/journalist who was so bored/crazed/drunk/awake that he decided to run nude through the aisles to possibly entertain the unhappy passengers. What is this "Rihanna Plane Trip" all about? No one has quite figured it out yet other than another PR stunt gone wrong, especially if you're a vegetarian. Perhaps Rihanna is just trying to woo Chris Brown back into her web by flying circles around the sky until he comes back to her on the fly. I know. That was an awful sentence. I'm keeping that, too, as this is an awful post. Must be consistent, you know.
Let's see, what other crap can I remember? Oh, yeah, Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are still going strong. No word from Demi Moore's deathbed yet. Justin B and Selena G are having Puppy Love Fights. On one day, off another. Be still my heart. Well, it IS STILL as that news just knocked my heart rate down a notch to almost not beating from the I Don't Give A Damn messages my brain Is sending to my Staying Alive Valves.
Bruce Jenner may be on the verge of filing for divorce from Kris Kar-Kash-in, having finally realized after 21 years of marriage that his cajones flew out the door the moment he said "I do." Now, after enough public humiliation to satisfy the most Humble Submissive, the vision of his manhood has apparently been haunting his dreams. Go Bruce! We know you can run like the wind. Just remember the Wheaties cover where you were in your prime and Go For The Gold before Kris beats you to it. But hold on! Bruce is denying the allegations. He claims that everything in his family is "fine" or "doing well" or another one of those vague rebuttals. Of course he wouldn't want Kris to know what he's doing. If he thought his manhood was lost, one day he could wake up to the tangible reality of such.
Oh! The Biggest Newz Of All must not be ignored! Duchess Kate and Duke/Prince William very well might be "with child." By the look on Kate's face in recent days of Out & Abouts she seems to be a tad nauseated more than usual. I understand it's tough spending so much time with The Royal Family and turning green from time-to-time is not uncommon; however, if I were a Betting Woman I would wager one or two crowns that she is preggers. We shall soon find out, "we" have been "told." Is this going to be a Merry Christmas Gift to The Monarchy?
Our American Monarchy, the Kennedy's, must be happy now that Taylor Swift has swiftly moved-on to another teenager with whom she can introduce to the fine art of pottery shopping. Another 18 year-old, but this time one who is in The Biz and knows what it's like to Be A Star! At least he doesn't have to be signed-out of his dorm to go for a weekend date with The Stalker. It's Harry Styles from the band/group, One Direction. I can assure you that in the very near future, he'll be going in Another Direction. Buh-Bye! Taylor only dates anyone for a few months before the Angels That Surround Her Snowy White Halo yank the guys away so that her heart can break all over again and her bank account will grow. Angels have their priorities, too, you know.
Anything else of non-importance going on? If so, you won't find it here. I'm done for the day.
Thanks for stopping by!
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