The Weekly Fluff

Here we are, my friends. The Third Erection/ (*cough-cough*) Edition of the most banal Celebrity-Based Info of the week. Are you frothing at the mouth for newz you may already know? Do you care to read MY Take on All That Really Doesn't Matter in the "the long run'? Or, are you incredibly not interested in what a few of your From-Afar Imaginary BFF's In Show-Biz are up-to of late? If you Do Care, are you willing to relax, have a cup of Gin And Tonic-Toxic hidden in your Starbucks cup and read the following blathering's? Enjoy or not at your risk...or pleasure.

So, here we go...

I loathe to write about this Plastic Debacle, but Kim Kar-Kash-In recently lied said in an interview how she wants to "simplify" her life. Sure. Tell that to her latest purchase of Christian Loubautin shoes she must wear at almost every opportunity. BTW, is it me, or has Kimmy become a mere Showcase Stiff Doll with no light in her eyes ever since Kanye decided to take over her life? I dunno. I don't honestly give two twats in a twit box about any of the K family...yet, with each month of Kanye West herding Kim Of The East around like a wittle puppy, the light seems to leave her eyes. Not necessarily always flashing Life Signs, she appears to now be a form of a Barbie Doll based on an almost Stepford Wife Glazed-Eye Stare into the camera's as the month's of their color-coordinated outings sashay on?

Jeez. Kim seems to have been hypnotized or traumatized or, has become a lofty puppet of a Grand Manipulator...following, of course, in the Basic Tradition of Hollywood Sexy Women who Must Be Seen and Not Heard. Really. Have you read anything "new" about her transformation from a basic Gold-Digging Famewhore to the stilted Blank Stare In The Glare Of Her SO's Halo now that she's champing at Kanye's Little Bit?

Oh forget it. I've had enough of them.

Next?

Let's see. I don't care to be redundant on subject matter, but can anyone believe that Lindsay Low-hand didn't show up for her latest gig on another mess of a film - again? Yes, I know you can believe. So, we'll leave it at that. Yawn. I think I have had enough of her as well.

Next?

Nice Mr. Almost "Old Hollywood" Tom Hanks, must want to become relevant again and show the world that his horrendous mustache wants to help everyone forget how much he looks like Walter Matthau, and slipped-out The F Word On National TV!!! My goodness, Tom. You are so edgy. You make Brad Pitt appear brilliant in comparison as he has never lowered himself to use such language in The Public Eye-Yi-Yi! Brad, however, will say "Bitches" when they are mad at him, but then he immediately begins rolling the marbles he calls his tongue around in his mouth to pop out big words that fall into vaporous nothings once released. Somehow his attempts at intellectualism are akin to putting Lipstick On A... Oh, you know what I mean. You don't? You love Brad? Sorry (not really). I don't dislike the guy; however, why must he always try to impress with using words that sound smart, but ultimately make him sound pretentious, as well as creating sentences which make no sense when a basic word will do. Oh well. Carry on, Bradley. We'll always translate what you attempt to say into the real meaning: "Hey. I'm Brad. Um. The world is crazy, man, and I likes me some good roles in films where I can look like shit - saves time in the morning when I roll out of the alley I just slept in."

Hmmm.

We have just learned that our Once Darling Britney Spears OD'd on what is reported to be at least 30 pills before she was held captive by Her Conservators. Uh, so what else is new? It was obvious she did more than just drive like a Crazy Person holding her child in her lap and running into gas station bathrooms barefoot and beating-up cars with umbrellas.

Next?

Oh, and aren't we all Just Delighted that Robsten are "back together" and everything? Yep. There are pictures to prove it. Look at your calendar and mark a Red X on the date that the PR Tours for the final Twilight flicker-flick come to an end. Give it a week after opening, and - voila! - once more, No Mo' BS about them, cuz' their contract with each other as Lovah's will be ovah! At least that's what "they" say.

Next?

Naw. I'm calling it "a day" - or words to that effect. Mebe I should give Bradley Pitt a call and ask what word would be better to explain that I'm exhausted as hell. I need more strong tea. And a mind tune-up myself these days. I'll spare all of you the Other Fluff fluffing around Celeb-Land and get back to my new job as My Mother's Keeper.

Until next time....