The Weekly Fluff

Good morning to you from my end of the time zone. Here we are, at the second step in the debut of The Weekly Fluff, a seductive account of the most vapid Celeb/Public Figure Newz in print and On The Online. Our chance to waste more precious minutes of our lives learning about "famous" people who have Active PR Rep's and/or a tendency toward creating drama and "scandal" so that all of us will notice them, thus providing an audience for their Attention Requirements...such as Lady Gag-Gag actually gagging and following-through on the urge by unloading whatever bile resides within her peculiar physical system while on stage during a recent gig. If she considers what she did "performance art" rather than doing a Bulimic-Example to support her recent "I was Bulimic" claims, then that woman is def in the mood to show Madonna that she is NOT COPYING Madonna IN ANY WAY!

See? I'm vomiting on stage! Three times! You, Madge, only know how to flash your crotch! I, The Lady Of Gag-A, am just as talented and edgier than you'll ever be! Or, mebe she's preggers.  Can't quite rule that out. She's gained weight and isn't apologizing for it (good for her no matter what the reason), and very well may be feeling the Celebrity Must-Have-Child(ren) itch. Hmmmm?

While people natter on about the Gag-Gag's possible "stunt-gag," the earth is shattering into little pieces of non-sense with one of The Biggest New Phenom's for Reality TV: a cheeky white trash child who says lots of astounding and, I gather, VERY IMPORTANT words to millions of TV viewers while Her Trash Mama jus' looks on and chortles over what a cash-cow she spawned. Honey Boo-Boo? All over the Gossip Sites? WHY? How many palms have been greased on this one? Puleeeze!!!!

On a classier note, Brad Pitt has decided to remind all of his fans/potential producers/co-stars/loan-sharks how he can play any part you want him to play with a pic spread in Interview which "artistically" depicts his multi-talented "looks" –  without mumbling dialogue to ruin his latest attempt at relevancy. (See Here For Pics). Oh Brad, you shameless Image-Faker!

The Flogging Whip found its way to a private party for Matt Damon's birthday the other night where both Matt and his sudden "Friend" Tommy Cruisey, had a right good spanking! It was a grand relief for all involved, I was assured by The Whip upon its return, having been held quite sternly during the exciting butt-whacking by a Transsexual or Transvestite – I don't recall which, to be honest, and don't feel like doing a Google Search on what is so easy to find. Just know Matt and Tom got their butts smacked. Wow-ee!

Oh, and everyone is writing about all the engagement and wedding rings celeb women are flaunting of late. Rings-Rings-Rings. The consensus on most go like this: Oh man, Blake Lively's wedding ring is "soooo trashy"? Justin Theroux's engagement ring to Jennifer Aniston is BIG and is so gauche as to be YELLOW GOLD, of all the tacky things to wear! Natter-natter. Angelina Jolie's "Promise for the Future" ring (that has been photographed only a few times since the apparent "engagement" to Brad Pitt was denied announced by their jeweler several months ago), is always a hot topic of discussion if she isn't seen wearing it, especially when she's in character and working on a film. Yep. That's when we always wear our personal jewelry. However, tongues flap, "Will they ever get married?" – and was the "engagement" announcement and loving story about Brad's "year-long" design with the jeweler really true? Overly-curious Gossips Want To Know!

Oh again! At least six more celebrity women of Very Little Reason To Be Famous are pregnant! More Showbiz Babies. At the rate celeb's are popping-out wittle bay-beez, the film industry is pooping-out more flops ("pooping" was a typo – I'll keep it in anyway). There must be a connection somewhere? "Hollywood" is spending more time in beds and hotel hallways and elevators and mini-coopers to ensure that the Human Race will NEVER fade away!

Heaven forbid! Mila Kunis, Esquire's 'Sexiest Woman Alive', went out on a dinner date with her beau, Ashton Kutcher, wearing sweatpants OF ALL THINGS! In Manhattan, no less. Fashionista's are astounded! Why? She already wears Ashton as a drape, so what's new?

Before I go, I must mention Lindsay Low-Hand's recent brawl - this one with her mother after they went "clubbing" together in NYC. Or maybe I won't.

There's more. But we'll stop right here. All of this TMI is making me want to either buy a BIG TACKY engagement ring or wear sweatpants to a nice restaurant...just cuz'.

See you tomorrow!

Image via: http://hellogiggles.com