Wedding Bell Boo's

On an overcast morning in Southern California I find myself feeling all cozy and happy in the currently quiet canyon. No barking dogs, no buzz saws, no nanny-with-stroller brigades, just the neighbors walking their dogs, and somewhere off in the distance, the sound of a few children making children noises as they play outside.

I want to stretch and take a pleasant walk before the sun decides to make an appearance later today in honor of the non-royal wedding an hour up the coast in Montecito of the ultimate fameho's of Hollywood - the Kar-Kash-Ins - big day. Yep. It's Kim's day to shine in all of her faux glory as she weds the giant of her dreams, NBA star Kris Humphries, at a rather huge mansion nestled in the heady hills outside of Santa Barbara.

I really don't care about these people at all. I never watch their TV program Keeping Up With The Kardashian's because I don't want to keep up with them.

But it's all over the news today that the wedding is in full green light mode minus approx 50 last-minute disinvited guests due to "space problems." In other words, some kind of zoning/fire code was slapped in the Kash-In's frozen botoxed faces and all of a sudden Mario Lopez of Extra became more important to the guest list than stepfather of the bride, Bruce Jenner's, friends and relatives who suddenly found out just how unimportant they really are to a Reality Star's priorities on her big pay day when their names were slashed from the list.

Yep. It will be be a fine pay day. The wedding that tabloids and entertainment programs are gushing about non-stop will reap a tidy little sum of $1.5 million dollars from People Magazine for exclusive rights to the wedding pictures, and another large sum from E! to cover the wedding for a TV special in October. Considering that the focus on most of the reporting has been the cost of the wedding (a reported $10 million) the crafty Kar-Kash-In's could break even or make a profit on the event after all is paid and done.

And just who are these people? The Kardashian's? Just the epitome of Beverly Hills excess and all that is a cliche' about being famous for simply being famous through an insipid reality program because the family knows how to play the fameho game to the Hilt-on.

Who knew that shopping and botoxing and flinging gold leaf earrings around would create such excitement on the TV's and provide absolutely no redeeming value at all to the populace other than yet another empty diversion. I guess the television industry knew how it would work considering the trend of an endless stream of reality shows with narcissistic women punching each other out, or raising a truckload of children while divorcing one's husband, or leading A Simple Life when one comes from a family of privilege and working in a faraway diner in Arizona for an afternoon is considered "simple" and worthy of watching.

What I find so sad about the hoopla surrounding this wedding is how it is touted as rivaling the truly royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Okay. So born to the throne was William, and brought into the lair is Kate. Could it be that a comparison can be made between America's version of royalty (self-appointed) and that of the English (by blood anointed)?

I don't know. Call me a snob, but the day a Kar-Kash-In is considered to be "royalty" is the day I become Cinderella.

And I don't own glass slippers.

Image via Bauer Griffin