The Unbearable Unkindness of Beings

Surprise, surprise! North Carolina slammed the door on gay marriage yesterday via an amendment to their already-in-place ban on gay marriage. Huh? Yes, although gay marriage was already illegal in the state, to ensure that no one could find a little loophole to slide the possibility of a Civil Union/Domestic Partnership into the mix, the amendment cements the No Way To Gays to even have the legal right to sit at the hospital bed of a sick or dying partner because they are not officially "legal family" - among other non-rights gays must constantly face as a citizen of the U.S.

Let's be realistic. Did anyone honestly expect North Carolina to approve of anything beyond pornography (see yesterday's post)? The state is in The Bible Belt. Approximately 80% of the population are Christians. Statistically, almost the same percentage are Republican. Put those two together and what else would be the result of such a divisive issue?

But, before heterosexuals jump too high for joy with this so-called "victory" it's imperative to note that Domestic Partnerships of any sort have also been compromised in the amendment, which means, if the law is to be followed for everyone who is not married, that simply living together without a piece of legal paper called "marriage license" could be trouble.

What happens if a woman or a man is the victim of what we know as "domestic abuse'? If the law doesn't recognize a non-legal union between a man and woman, what will be the abused's recourse? File a Restraining Order? Sue the abuser? That is a question others are asking. As of this moment, no one appears to have a concise answer.

The fight for equal rights for gays to marry continues to face numerous obstacles and, unfortunately, has many miles to go before the activists can sleep. Yes, it's unfair. Yes, the opposition is rigid and righteous as they cite the Bible as their guide to deny same-sex couples to openly love and share basic human rights such as filing a joint tax return or becoming a U.S. citizen should they fall in love with someone in the States when they hail from another country and their Visa has finally expired.

What to do when that happens? Either marry someone in the U.S. to be legally admitted to the country (via this illegal route), break-up, or, in the case of a friend in this situation, sell her home and move away from her American Roots to live with her love in another country where she is allowed to remain.

That is a very big sacrifice to make. It wasn't easy. She is adjusting to her new country; but for love, she gave it all away in the States, is learning a new language, and does the best she can to maintain her successful business via remote means.

Why does it have to be so hard? Because, in the U.S., it took years and years before all Black Men were allowed to vote; more years before interracial marriages became legal, and, until 1920, women were not able to vote. Why so long for everyone? Prejudice and other justifications. Change takes time. Gays will have to stand in line and fight for their rights just as other "minorities" have done. That's just a fact. A sad one, but true.

And by the way, even now, in 2012 in the United States, we have people claiming that women should never have been allowed to vote: Read This Mess

I'm signing off now on that ridiculous note and going to my medicine cabinet to take a few anti-anxiety pills so that I don't toss my laptop over the balcony.
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