I am so over most of my tender years flouncing and trouncing on this planet when otherwise evil influences weren’t plotting to take me down, that I am genuinely sick of it all.
During the past month or so, I have discovered how important it is to have people in one’s life who are utterly selfless; have endless free time; no transportation issues; a pleasant, chirpy and/or placid attitude in the face of someone wincing and screaming in pain; knows how to cook what one likes in the way one likes it, and are/is comfortable with someone's Clean-Freak ways.
Geez. Is it really that difficult to find non-paid help, you ask? Yep. It is. Or can be. If you set your life on less-than-practical assessments.
Conversely……..
I have a bit of a Nurse in me, and when I take care of someone I tend to do it well. When I have needed assistance for various reasons over the years, I have run into a gigantic wall of other people’s limitations in that area which has taken quite some time for me to adjust to their non-Nursey ways when I am the one in need of help.
Where, oh where, did all of my Groupies go?
The young men and women who gladly drove me to wherever I needed to go without complaint; happily ordered foods I needed; had no problem ensuring that nothing was amiss on the floor to pick up that I could not in order to keep my environment in shape, and also had an innate sense of the healer within to know how to tuck me into bed and prop up a leg or back in just the right way so that comfort was not an issue when doing these things myself would create further damage to whatever the ailment might be. I guess not being a DJ or TV producer or even an audiobook producer anymore has something to do with the missing link of easily finding a non-familial-based support system.
Drat! I’m just another body in need of help. Gulp. (Not new newz to moi...just a typical whine from a disenfranchised Goopy-Oooop.)
This current health experience is a true eye-opener for me and anyone reading my few words of pissdoom on what it could be like for all of us in our elder years should we have a debilitating illness which requires a caretaker for any length of time – short or forever.
First thing to know is: no matter how much someone loves you and wants to help, they have their own issues and lives to handle and your needs may become too much for them to juggle. They will burn out. The caregiver needs relief. So, make sure you have relief for your helpmates in your plan -- if you have a plan. That’s another thing: if you are able to think clearly, devise a plan for your needs. And, if you don’t think it’s necessary to look into your health insurance to find out if you have at home care covered, especially if you don’t want to go to an assisted living situation during a recovery of one sort or another, think again – and make sure you are able to have someone take care of you who is trained. It will be a much appreciated element to the quality of your life to have professionals looming about.
Transportation: If you’re an independent type, it could be a tad traumatic at the beginning of a physical ailment to realize you cannot take yourself to all of the doctor and other out-of-the-house requirements. What? I have to ask someone to drive me? Hey, wait a minute! Hello there! To catch/order a cab to take me only a few miles down the road into Hollywood or Valley-Land is at least $20.00 one way. No problem if you're not broke or cheap.
Yikes! A cab out of my door is so costly in L.A. that I have to find a laugh in it. Somewhere. after the Bottom of the Hill, depending on traffic, stop signs and lights, expect to spend another $20 or so U.S. dollars to get to your destination if traffic allows. Don’t forget to tip at a decent percentage or whatever is burning a hole in your pockets and wallets at that moment.
Oh, and remember when you begin an affair of the heart: Do Not Make Life Changing Decisions Until You Have Been Sick In THEIR Presence! The reaction and subsequent actions and/or IN-ACTIONS will provide a pertinent view into what that person is made of and whether or not they can meet your needs – not meet OBLIGATIONS – as there is a distinct difference between the two. One is of duty; the other of the heart and soul.
I knew this; I know this; I'm not in a relationship to go through it all again and again. I am, however, more than mildly alarmed at what it takes to receive genuine care without subtle guilt-trip inferences and the like in the midst of what is more than a brief period of disability.
See ya’ tomorrow. One time or another. And if I sound a bit like Our Gal Goopy, know that the Goop in me is much more an Ooops in thee.
lol - looks like someone's mad. get yourself a paid helper to drop the stress of amateurs.
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