Who Deserves A Flog Today?

It's my pleasure to bring out the Flogging Whip to flash a few lashes at the writers, producers and director(s) of ABC's "Titanic" monstrosity which aired its first 3 installments last evening. Tonight will end the horror of watching the most pissed-off, snobby, hyperventilating, hyperbolic, clueless, ruthless, bitter, quivering group of characters ever seen in a film (made-for-TV or not) that wasn't written for a slasher-mash. Even so, most fiends in horror films have a touch of humour somewhere along the way. In this case, one would think by the attitudes of almost all of the characters that everyone deserved to die who dared to set foot on that ill-fated ship. Rich passengers immediately sniff at each other as if they all had forgotten to bathe. Everyone is angry at something or someone, and that's before the ship hits the iceberg and the champagne is pouring and the ship is soaring on its way. No one, save for one or two Servants, appears to know where their smiley-faces went, and argue and mutter and sputter and flounce with the fumes of bitter limes seeping from their mouths. Unlikeable they are. Deeply so. Bribed into watching the mess last evening with a friend, I doubt I'll take the time to see the finale this evening as we know how it ends, and unfortunately the nicest of the group will inevitably die and the Entitled Sours will freeze in their lifeboats until rescued, having undergone a form of humility at the realization of their mortality. That is, until they reach land and return to their stomach-churning ways. How much money was wasted on this production? Would have been better to just play the infamous Celine Dion-sung theme song ('My Heart Will Go On') from James Cameron's version of the tragedy in a continuous loop for hours with Kate Winslet sitting in front of a camera so we could all watch while she tried not to throw-up.


Winslet reference details: Here