Hello. Today I'll summarize the Latest Gossip floating, zooming, looming and crooning over The Newz Of Public Figures With Or Without Curves. Reading headlines is often all it requires to know what's happening with a few of the Most Vapid People on Earth, or the Most Sexy or the Hottest Hunky or the latest Family Values Politician who was foolish enough to be caught with Another Woman. That sort of salacious, lurid stuff Fan-Fiction'ers live for every day, every week, of the year.
But for you, the Weekly Peepers, a few of the nuggets will provide the easiest way to The Point of The Gossips' gossip. Yeah, yeah. To evolve, we're told not to gossip. That it's bad for the soul, our individual karma…on and on. Well, I've been to Nirvana And Back many times in my life. Now is not one of those "I'm feeling really spiritual" moments. Said the Little Devil sitting on my Left Shoulder, "Oh, go ahead. Be a bitch. Tee hee." The Good Angel flapping around on the Right Side is too busy attempting to distract me from Being 'Bad' that one of its wings whacked me in the face. It's easy to guess which side I'm following today.
Now let's get on it!
Kate Upton (Who? What was the name of that one film she was in – and when?) has been defending her No Abs To Be Seen tummy on the quite "open" photo of her on the cover of Sports Illustrated where we all have had either a purposeful or accidental visual encounter with the quasi-humongous breasts under a Warm Parka while she is standing in the middle of somewhere with Lotsa Ice while her lower half provides a wholesome white bikini bottom – and a stomach that looks soft, not hard! Kate is telling the media in particular to basically STFU cuz' she loves her body the way it is! So there! Good for her. She eats, unlike most of Hollywood. However, who is she again? She's everywhere these days! Are we being Upton-ized?
ATTENTION! DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING (aside from reading this)! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have not only popped-up for a photo-op or two over the week, but were also In The Same Place At The Same Time somewhere in L.A. with their twins. Imagine that! Amazing! Is everyone satisfied now? She's still alive, and he still shares the same air space with her! What, oh what, does it mean?
Every African-American athlete in the NFL and a few from the NBA and the Music World are murderers; always arrested for beating on their Wimmen; getting into trouble with the IRS or something. Just ask TMZ.
Jay-Z appears to be the first answer everyone who comments on Blind Items Websites say/write when the Blind refers to various stories of infidelity with the strangest of partners. Oh, Beyoncé, did you sign up for that? And while I have your attention, did you really, honestly, truly, HAVE your baby or did you pull The Latest Trend and hire a surrogate? Sorry for asking. But, too many people continue to think you lied. Now you're giving interviews about how it felt to have contractions and all of that birthing TMI. (I'm neutral on this one…) However, perhaps that's why there was The Heavy-Duty Secrecy and Hospital Wing Shutdown during the birth of The Baby (aka the new Suri Cruise)?
Next...
Prince William is (reportedly) a "brat" and not the low-key gent he presents to the public, In addition, William appears to be shedding his Royal "Working" Duties by vacationing in various sunny beachy places with his Equally Denounced "Ignoring Royal Duties" wife, Kate, more than dashing around charity events and cutting ribbons and things. Yet another picture of the Duchess of Cambridge in a revealing bikini has surfaced online and may be coming to a magazine near you – if not already. Thus, The Prince is "furious" and is throwing a supposed Temper Tantrum although the pictures are benign and were taken (reportedly) by an actual NON-Paparazzo on a public beach. Well then, get thee to a private island next outing, okay, William? It makes more sense than vacationing in places where it's easy for the constant photographic intrusions you abhor. (For good reason, of course.)
A married celebrity couple are still waiting for Awards Season to be over before they announce their impending divorce. Well, gee, don't they all? I don't have a valid clue, so I'm not going to guess. Could be anyone, really. Who writes these Blind Items, anyway? Hey, I can do it, too! A Celebrity Bombshell Is Pregnant! Rihanna Hates Herself Or Why Would She Be With Chris Brown?
For some reason everyone in The Biz still hates James Franco because
Pastel-colored satiny-like (or The Real Thing) neck-ties continue to be the primary Power Colours of GOPer's because they want to project a "sensitive" image – says a few arm-chair Dress Code Psychics. I have a different theory: those rosy, lavender, pale pink and other pastel-y colours are a way in which Repressed Homosexuals Express Themselves! Of course that has to be the answer! It's called Using GOP Logic. Example: If a Black Guy makes it to the Oval Office in the ironically named "White House" and has a strange name and a quiet past, he automatically is Islamic, not born in America, and because he wants to ensure the continuation of social programs put into action by White Men years ago that benefit society and DO NOT add to The National Debt, is hell-bent on turning America into a Socialist Nation to finally step into the 21st Century on Healthcare – an issue Washington has been debating for what seems-like-ever. That's the kind of Zero-Logic we're facing.
Whoa! There I go again! This is supposed to be a Fluffy Post, not another political rant-of-sorts.
On that note…perhaps I'll just wave a temp good-bye until tomorrow....
Have fun Whatever You Do!
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